Is Your Husband Making You Fat?

One of the most important things I’ve learned about marriage is that it’s all about compromise and understanding. Although there are a few things I will never completely fathom (like video games), I know that compromise is the key to a happy marriage. 

One thing that does NOT have to be compromised is your waist-size, although it is common for men AND women to get married and gain weight.

Why does this happen?

In marriage, one does as the other. When women start sharing most meals with their husbands, eating patterns generally change. While some men might actually be eating healthier; better balanced meals, fruits, and vegetables, women might start eating LESS healthy; allow more junk food in the cupboards and consuming larger portions. This isn’t ALWAYS the case, but I would bet it happens more than you think.


With smaller muscle mass and body size, women don’t need as many calories to keep the body functioning. When there is an excess, weight gain is inevitable. So what can YOU do to keep your figure healthy throughout your marriage (benefiting you AND your spouse)? 

That's a start! But not ideal for every couple.


  1. Use smaller plates. This will trick your mind in to thinking you have MORE, when you really have less! I do this ALL the time! If your husband wants more, he can have more, but YOU don’t have to!
  2. Cook healthy, even for HIM! I have said this before and I’ll say it again: STOP making two meals. Get your hubby to be a bit more adventurous with his palate by combining flavors he loves, with new things he is not familiar with. It will take time, even YEARS, but be patient!
  3. Check your cupboards. Are they loaded with chips, cookies, and other snacky foods? If so, stop buying them! If you check my cupboards at home, you would not find a pantry full of easy to reach snacks. Avoiding the snack aisle at the grocery store prevents temptation from being at your fingertips. Out of sight, out of mind! You won’t only be helping YOUR waistline, but also your whole family!
  4. Exercise…together. This is one area I struggle MOST with because my husband just doesn’t like structured exercise.  However, we still find active things to do together; rollerblading, soccer, tennis, etc. Its exercise, but it’s FUN exercise.
  5. Keep up appearances. No matter your size, a lot of couples get married and stop putting the effort in to trying to impress the other. This might sound superficial but makes a difference when it comes to your health! I love being dressed up and taking a little time with how I look. I feel better and I love getting compliments from my husband. This makes me WANT to eat healthier and work out so that my skin looks great; I fit in my clothes, and have more energy! Start today by throwing on a nice top, instead of a raggedy old t-shirt. A little effort goes a long way! 

I hope these 5 tips will get your mind thinking about what other healthy changes you can make in your relationship! Be the influence! Who knows what could happen! You might even be able to fit in that wedding dress on your 50th anniversary!

QUESTION: Does your husband influence your eating habits? Have you gained weight since being married?


25 comments to Is Your Husband Making You Fat?

  • I have gained 35 pounds since getting married 23 years ago. However, my husband and I are now going to the gym 4-5 mornings a week together. And we are each being accountable to each other. He has diabetes now… late onset type 1 so we have to watch what we eat. We are not as diligent as we should be. Baby steps. Working out has brought us closer together.

  • jessica

    i am super annoyed with him…. he eats whatever he wants, he has this amazing metabolism and he never works out! NEVER! and i run and work out and he just pigs out in front of me…. i cant eat the things i want but he eats them for me…. its annoying…. even if i do give him smaller portions he goes back for 2nds and 3rds…. its like he has a bottomless pit….

  • Great topic! This is an ongoing battle I have been waging with my boyfriend. We’ve been living together for two years and our cupboards often contain things I never would have had in stock when I lived on my own. (Hello, Doritos.) I like that you stress patience and say that it can take YEARS to have an impact on your significant other’s eating habits. Patience is definitely required! :) And thanks for the other tips! I’ll definitely be putting more than a few into practice!

  • [...] I’m taking control of my health and life and am getting back on track. I’ve gained weight since being married. But I’m not the only one, I know. Just ask The Healthy Apron! [...]

  • I’m not married, but I definitely experienced “love weight gain” during my last relationship! My boyfriend was a junk food junkie, and turned his nose up at virtually *every* fruit and vegetable. As a result, we’d often eat at diners, barbecue joints etc., and snack on chips and dip while curled up on the couch. Over time it added up, and I increasingly found myself feeling a bit, err, uncomfortable in my jeans! However, I learned my lesson, and will be much more conscious when Mr. Right comes along. Who knows though, maybe Mr. Right will be a health foodie like me!

    Hope you’re having a great week, Erin! xoxo

  • Love this, there was actually a NY Times article “in fatness and in health” I think that documented this. Their theory was, as you mentioned, that there’s less pressure to look good once you’re married. That makes me sad. I haven’t gained weight (other than for 2 pregnancies). I especially liked your tip to get your husband eating healthy.

  • Ok, this will NOT be me! Actually, I think that most women put on weight after marriage because they lose so much before, for the wedding. And usually they lose this weight in a not so healthy way. When I bought my dress this weekend I told them to make it a size larger, just in case I gained weight, and the lady said “that is so refreshing to hear! Every other bride insists on losing weight”. So, it makes sense that most brides gain weight after marriage. But either way, your tips are spot on.

  • Before getting married, I ate healthy and exercised often (even more so than now…the wedding dress was a stressor for me) and my husband lived the ultimate bachelor life of fast food. I’ve worked hard to expect less perfectionism from myself and my husband has adapted more toward my eating habits. I do wish he was more into structured workouts though…sometimes I feel like the extra kick in the butt to get to the gym would be a good thing :) I like this post though, because I really never stopped to reflect consciously on any of this before. Thank you!

  • These are great tips. I’m not married, but when my boyfriend and I go out to eat, he’ll sometimes ask why I don’t finish my whole plate of food, then jokingly say that I need to finish it if I want dessert. What he doesn’t understand, is that it wouldn’t be healthy for me to eat a whole plate of restaurant food, and I’d rather save room for that fro-yo anyway :) . I usually just pass my leftovers onto him…that way I’m not tempted to eat when I’m already full!

  • You know it’s bad when you answer “yes” after just reading the title of this post. I had a similar conversation with my hubs the other day. My husband’s theory is that all people who are in happy relationships gain a little weight. I’m the one who really watches what i eat and exercises all the time yet he’s the one who has been losing the weight. No fair. Your small plates idea is a good solution and one i’ve been practicing for awhile. It took me awhile to realize we were eating the same portion sizes at dinner yet he’s 6’2″, 235lbs and can afford the extra calories that i can’t.

  • Great Tips! I am not married, but when my boyfriend and I lived in the same city I noticed that if he was craving something and talked about it a lot I would start to want the same thing. I had to keep telling myself that little indulgences were ok, but not to get in the habit of over eating. I also noticed that when we would cook we would have to make almost two different meals. I eat a lot of vegetarian style meals while my boyfriend loves meat. He is slowly coming around on certain foods but we have a long way to go!

  • I don’t keep any unhealthy stuff in the house…but #2 doesn’t work with us. I make 2 dinners. He’s impossible as I have told you before. It is healthy versions, tougher when I don’t eat meat and he does. We make it work…even though he’s pretty much a lost cause for being adventurous at all. Seriously, no man has a lack of adventure with food than my husband.

  • I did gain weight after getting married, but I think that was due to PCOS rearing its ugly head :( It is definitely more challenging with his eating habits, but I am lucky – he eats what I cook, and the junk he has laying around is all the stuff that doesn’t interest me. Though I wish he would do away with it all together, I know he’s not there yet. We have invested in exercise equipment for the basement, so now we can workout together. I’m even getting a weight bench and weights for him for his birthday this month :) Great post!!

  • I’ve actually lost weight since I started dating my fiance but because of a job change his weight has gone up a bit (used to have a really active job). He does eat really healthy though – makes me happy. :)

  • Yes, he does influence my eating habits — and, yes, I’ve gained weight since getting married. I was just talking about this today! And I’m so glad you commented on my recent post about taking my health back. You led me to this post and I think it’s so true. Great tips! :-D

  • I don’t have a husband but I live with my boyfriend – luckily I think I’ve influenced him more than he’s influenced my eating so we tend to keep it pretty healthy!

  • I’m not married, but I’ve just moved in with my boyfriend, and these tips are so useful! My boyfriend doesn’t eat as healthy as I do, but he is eating more veggies and fruit because I have them in the apt and make healthy dinners.

  • Good tips, especially #5. It’s so easy to fall into a rut and just throw on “Comfy” clothes all the time. I struggle with this a lot since I work from home and basically live in either pj’s or workout clothes!

  • I have gained weight (about 10 lbs in 10 years) but moslty it is due to my 3 pregnancies. It seems like each pregnancy left me with about 3 extra pounds! I find myself having much less time now to exercise than I used to. Im happy with where I am now for the most part but when I do see those pre baby pics of me, I get motivated to kick it up a notch on the exercise!

  • Great tips…When my husband and I made our wedding vows we included hold each accountable for their health, weight and exercise habits…no I’m not lying. It worked…we workout almost everyday together, play sports together and when needed are brutally honest to each other! That means sometimes saying something the other one might not want to hear…like you’re gaining weight. I started gaining a little weight and my husband was honest and now Im in better shape than when we got married… :-)

    xoxo from Trinidad

  • ha ha- the guy I’m currently dating has completely different eating habits than I do. This leads to strange eating patterns when we’re together- and I’m positive because of that, I’m totally eating less. It’s quite the opposite!

  • This post is so true! Great tips! Luckily my habits have influenced my husbands a bit more than his influencing me. Sticking with a regular exercise program is key to maintain and stay on track too!

  • My boyfriend definitely has an impact on my habits because he is almost always willing to sit around and enjoy pizza but rarely willing to, say, go for a run. Until recently I let it effect me but at the end of the day my lifestyle is my responsibilty so I am now working towards making better choices and hopefully influencing him too.

  • Meg

    You definitely hit the nail on the head with this one! I’m glad that my husband will run or lift weights with me (he’s such a drill sergeant!) but he definitely likes the junk food. It’s helped me become a better cook though, making healthy meals for him that he likes better!

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